Sometimes feeling the pain is feeling like a being home. It`s just a thing what I know, feeling what was with me always.

Yep, an IP here .. just realized it the past year, now with depression and panic attacks. I'm really sick of my family, f*ck then all, I can't stand them anymore. SO sick of them.

TEAL, I LOVE YOU!!! YOU'VE SAVED ME AND MY PARENTS AND I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!! wish you'd come to new Delhi just so I could give you a big happy loving (sloppily tear-filled) hug.
thanks you for this amazing combo of psychology and spirituality

your words have kept me from hurting myself so many times, thankyou you are an amasing person and you do so much good in this life, namaste.

I think, I'm afraid to be happy
Because when I do get too happy
Something bad always happens…

People find comfort in the darkness because it's the only thing that never leaves no matter what…

Things to do today:
1:get up
3:go back to bed

I tried
I tried
I tried
I tried
I tried
I'm tired…

I'm slowly falling apart…

I'm slowly dying…

But who cares anyway ?

My Gods.. YES! This is soooooooooooooooo true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow.. no wonder its been a rough ride! Thank you Teal! In this lifetime I WILL be happy and find peace of mind!

A beautiful soul I met (who looks a lot like you Teal) told me she builds walls because she's been left or hurt by every man in her life. She told me to be patient with her, that she wants "us" to work. On an aside, we had instant passion to a level that actually scared both of us. It was so intense it seemed unnatural. I get chills now thinking about it.

So, I decided pretty early on to be painfully honest about myself. To be emotionally naked, vulnerable, and upfront with everything about me. When I did this I told her I was falling in love with something deep in her that I've never experienced.. so I feel compelled to be so honest. When I did this, she literally shut down. She admitted she hated this happened and that it's wrong, (and she's never shut down before) but she couldn't help it. She said she is now afraid she's letting go of the best thing that's ever happened to her, but she had to.


Now here I am, hoping she comes to me if and when she's ready.

I've never seen "walls" like this. It's beyond walls with her and according to her, this has only happened to her with me.

I want her back… 😢

it seems like there is too much going on . i have watched 80% of your videos and it seems scary that there would be a billion problem within me waiting to be solved…

I truly love your videos and get so much from them. However, I find it interesting that you use imagery of self harm in a few of your videos. I find it to be quite unnecessary and triggering. Something to consider


so is it bad to be Attracted to you?!!! I kid, I know it's not. Its the inner me loving things I see as pretty and intelligent! Wanting to be close to things/people that I feel a connection too for whatever reason. Take my real love for the women im with now. If Im away from her for three days i cant stand to be with out her!

Awareness is curative, so this video could be really helpful to unstuck from our painful and degrading pattern of living if we are broken and suffering alone.

Thanks for great job and the information!

IP’s accumulate in the cities and are called homeless. They are continually attacked and persecuted by the police, and their tents are cut and their blankets removed in cold and freezing rain. I know if one guy who was sprayed with street cleaner and a woman whose cell phone was destroyed deliberately here in ‘sanctuary’ city SF

Teal. If the healing you envision for the world is to commence you must begin healing the accumulated IP’s in the streets IMO
We need a free center to heal those with these issues
You can have a hygiene requirement or offer showers or whatever ( because they are persecuted and have no access to basic dignities) but I’m telling you this must begin.

That is hilarious! I once bought a car and drove it on the freeway with the parking brake on and didn’t figure it out till it burned up lol

This spoke to me most. I practically grew up in pain and it’s all I know that I can’t even hold any kind of relationship. I don’t feel anymore.

A parent that makes their child the victims in order to avoid their own pain does so SUBCONSCIOUSLY
Such a disapproving tone Teal. Thought you professed love for self and all

I've been feeling afraid of being successful and happy. This helps me understand me better. I get why I always feel like rescuing my mom even though she continues to cause me emotional pain. Then I hope she looks at me like I'm a good daughter but I'm always the enemy to her. Idk what it's going to take to get the part of me that wants mom's approval to stop seeking it. Like how badly does she have to hurt me? Mom made me feel like I can't trust myself. Feel like I'm keeping all these things to keep mom's attention or love. Keeping my extra weight, keeping my financial issues, keeping Co dependency, keeping distrust in myself. I'm trying to try out new things in my life. The thing I'm currently resisting but at the same time wanting to do is being an emotional coach for others. Idk if it's because I'm afraid I can't do it, afraid to be happy, I'm afraid to let go of Co dependency, or I'm afraid if I do I won't be there for myself anymore. Could be all of the above. I don't want to pursue anything until all of me is on board but at the same time I want to prove to myself happiness isn't a loss. I'll start with little things that make me happy and see how it goes from there. Thank you Teal. (I want to met Teal but at the same time I'm terrified she won't like me. But that issue maybe helped at another time.)

Brilliant Teal…identified patient…that was me…my mother is now sooo lonely, no contact nearly a year now…thank God

Yes I was hurt too bad, haven't had a bf in 5 years…. single at 31….
I still think about him… he was perfect, had found my soulmate.
He left …. we had a strong connection, stil not in touch but care for each other a lot

Thank You so much Teal. I have been very comforted by what you have shared. I am very much the black sheep.

You are absolutely amazing. I can't tell you how much sense this video made to me and I found it at just the right time.. thank you xx

Just what I needed to hear, study take in and intend to transform, IP thank you for your depth of understanding and rising from your own pain. Aho!

Catholicism dealt with the insoluble problem of evil and suffering by cultivating the idea that more suffering is better. Hence, the various Catholic hermits, monks, and nuns who wrote prolifically about human depravity, especially their own depravity. Catholicism merely tried to deal with the problem for which there is no answer. I submit it does not reflect the Good nature of God.
And to note for various posters: Christianity is not the same as Christendom. Christianity is the set of ideas all Christians agree on. Christendom is the collection of methods by which adherents try to "get God," to make contact with and deal with God.
I am a Christian who agrees with much of the very beautiful speaker's worldview. Truth is truth, no matter its origin.

I feel good for being strong and insensible to hurting feelings after a childhood with a narcisist and a sadic. And so, I dislike it but still i feel that they have done this for my best, at least shielding me from themselves.

Honestly, that blew my mind. I discovered so much about myself since i came across to you and still i'm realizing new things about myself. Thank you so much Teal

OMG!! I wish that I could upload a painting that I did about the “wall” !!!!! To describe it, simply, it’s a metallic wall with a fist breaking through the middle of it.

@teal swan

Could you please do a video on freeze states? I feel like instead of flight or fight, I tend to freeze. Some parts from my childhood that I speculate could be related are things like: it felt like I was not allowed to be happy, if I was doing something I thought was good or fun I would be in trouble, however I could not be upset or struggle either or else I would be in trouble for something being quote-unquote wrong with me. For example, when my mom took me to the doctor and he mentioned that I could be depressed she got so angry at me and wouldn't even look at me on the way home. I always had to agree with them and be happy about it. Many of the rules were contradictory as well. for example, if I was staying in my room a lot I would be told that I need to get out of the house and play with my friends but if I wanted to play with my friends I would be in trouble for quote and quote never wanting to spend time with the family.

Thank you so much for this video. It has been really hard to watch this since I feel you are describing me to a T and its difficult but essential to watch and gain awareness of.

holy … that hurt to listen to, THANK YOU! as you say, i stay in pain becouse it feels safe. i choose people i distrust becouse i can trust that they will disapoint me… what would be so bad about beeing happy? my entire life i ecaped reality into hollywood and fairytales… the whole story is about the struggle, problems, drama, the journey… until they find love – the end. in riality i was 17 when i had my first honest conversation with my dad, the first reel hug and heard the words i love you, and then… the end. i found him dead two days later. if i struggle i know the story goes on, i feel motivation to fight… when i see happy people, enjoying life… "nothing" they just are, and with a smile… i dont get it, it frustrates me. a month ago i decided to go thords hapiness, joy and love. discover this new world that i dont understand and let myself recieve. the universe is giving it to me, but omg is it uncofertable! this is going to take time! everything feels weird and wrong when i stop fighting and just let things happen, let people love me, let it all just be and just breath, my brain is telling me im giving up, come on, fight! dont let your guard down, stand up straight and dont let enyone know, but my soul is calling – this is the way, no more fighting, no more struggle, let it be, let love, breath, relax



It would be interesting to think about how this modern culture of victimhood is playing into a collective inability to be happy

Yes Rings very true for me. I had to actively make a decision to let go of pain and embrace feeling good otherwise my whole life would be spent feeling like a victim.

I feel so sad because I finally took heart to express myself to others and then they don’t listen or just put me down

I realized watching this video that one of the reasons I keep pain in is in order, or so I "believe" and feel, not let others be hurt. So if I hurt others can be happy…. But I also see writing this down, how wrapped that thought is, yet i do feel compassion for it too… Like if I carry this pain and not share it with the world/other people/ or not express it. It cannot hurt the ones I love. They will be safe from all this pain. Wow… stirs a lot in me… So need to see were this insight will lead me. For now I need to sit with it for a while……

Yuuuup! My mom is a narc. & A counselor at the same time!!! She is the drama queen narc. :/ 🙁 My dad was an Associate pastor and a pastor at small United Methodist churches at different times when I was growing up… He was also a hospice Chaplain. He is retired now. So u can see what my fam dynamics were like. Yeah, we had to move every 3 yrs when I was growing up .. when we moved to our last place when my dad stopped being g a pastor I was going into 7th grade, but wnr back to 6th grade at a k-12 school, because the school systems were so drastically different. So I ty had only 1 TRUE friend in jh and hs & she picked me. I pretty much gave up making more friends at that time, mostly in hs, cuz my biggest fear was that we were just gonna move again. Till my sophomore year when my dad stopped being a pastor at the church and just continued being a hospice Chaplain, so we were not gonna move again. But by time it was too late.

I have a Great relationship with my dad… He is the gentle one and the one that is the jokester…. But God/Source showed me His Truth in the way I needed it. So it's not like my dad's, joking took me away from what i grew up to believe. & No, we lived in parsonages… We never grew up with alot of money. VERY contrary to what ppl may believe abt pastor's families

the aspect about family projecting their pain onto us… Wow complete lightbulb moment for me thank you. 🙌🙏♥

So many people will be free because of your work. I now know that I CAN heal. I love and appreciate you immensely

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